Men and women don't court anymore, they speed date. This is an instant gratification society where nobody has 'time' to invest in ONE person and get to know them before moving on because they know if they don't get what they want from that person there are half a dozen more behind them just waiting in line, all thinking the same thing, "I'm the lucky one who will change them, they will stick with ME" <- wrong. Self deluded behavior that only encourages men to think they can play around and play the field with women's affections. And don't even get me started on the games that women play. I know all too well.
The only difference is women are far more subtle and sly about it. (most) Guys only see the attention as flattering, but I'm here to tell you, Bitches know Bitches. We see the motive behind all the cutesie flirting, and there is no such thing as "harmless" flirting.
When women stop putting themselves up on the table like a booty buffet, men will learn they can't treat us as such. And when men learn how to slow down, get to know one person instead of diluting their attention and affection in multiple directions, and stop (for the love of pete) looking over someone's shoulder to see what other possibilities are there, then MAYBE we'll see a shift from speed dating to actual courtship again.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Speed-Date and Dial-a-Mate
This was so damn good I just had to copy it here. I wrote this on a thread a gentleman friend posted, putting a player on blast, and a female (married) tag chaser. My response below:
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Why aren't the ones I'm attracted to, attracted to me, but the ones I'm not, are?
Someone asked that (I cleaned up the syntax, obviously) recently and the following was my answer to him.
My reply:
I guess I have to preface this by stating I am only using general terms, and when I say 'you' it's in the collective sense. I don't judge out of hand, and will be the first to admit I don't know you at all, so take all this with a grain of salt. These are, after all, only my own observations from being on this site and other chat venues for 10 years or so.
The reason you don't get women you are attracted to might have something to do with the type of women you are pursuing. We all, men and women, want the Holy grail of mates, the unattainable, the elusive ideal of perfection. None of us are immune, it's a simple human fact.
The problem is the type of women you're chasing aren't the type that's going to be attracted to you, and you find yourself in the unenviable position of being the unattainable for the ones you don't find attractive. Now keep in mind I have no clue what you find attractive in either looks or personality.
If you're seeking someone who is intelligent, articulate, physically fit and mentally stable, you should ask yourself, REALLY search inside and ask yourself, "Am I all of those qualities as well?" Because if you aren't, then it's unrealistic to expect someone who does have all of those qualities to look at you as a fit mate for them. Perhaps they are also looking for those qualities and if you are lacking in any of those areas, they won't find you appealing.
Are you intelligent? Articulate? Stable, physically, mentally and emotionally? (again, these are merely general, not directed toward you specifically). How do you approach women you do find attractive? Are looks the most important thing to you? What IS important to you? Are you looking for a life mate, or a booty call, or a friend with benefits, or someone merely to pal around with until you find "The One" Do you listen to a woman after you've approached her? Do you study her as you spend time with her? Do you expect sex too quickly? Do you date around, sampling women like a food buffet, picking the parts you like best and skimming over the leftovers with disdain?
Sorry it's so long, but there is no short or easy answer to your question. These are all things you should be asking of yourself. Have you ever considered looking outside the box of your 'ideal' to possibly find someone right under your nose you never thought would be a good mate for you? You might be surprised.
Now we get personal. I've read over your little bits of chatter since I think you are fairly new here, and there isn't much to read. You haven't filled out any information on your likes, dislikes, preferences, and your answers to questions, quite frankly, leave much to be desired. Short answers, that don't really go into any detail that might give someone a glimpse of your real personality. Or flippant, slightly crude answers like "you mean besides jerking off?" <- to be blunt, that isn't exactly the type of answer that's going to send off fireworks for a woman looking for a boyfriend or possible life mate. It sends the signal that you really just want to get your dick wet and you aren't very picky on who does it except
that they be "attractive" to you. Take it for what it's worth, or not at all. Your choice. My personal opinion is that you won't find love on this site. You may not even be referring to any females here, but out in the real world. However I think the same standards apply, and the same questions most certainly.
R*** asked: Why is it I get hit on by women I'm not attracted 2 and never
the 1s I am? Is it me?
My reply:
I guess I have to preface this by stating I am only using general terms, and when I say 'you' it's in the collective sense. I don't judge out of hand, and will be the first to admit I don't know you at all, so take all this with a grain of salt. These are, after all, only my own observations from being on this site and other chat venues for 10 years or so.
The reason you don't get women you are attracted to might have something to do with the type of women you are pursuing. We all, men and women, want the Holy grail of mates, the unattainable, the elusive ideal of perfection. None of us are immune, it's a simple human fact.
The problem is the type of women you're chasing aren't the type that's going to be attracted to you, and you find yourself in the unenviable position of being the unattainable for the ones you don't find attractive. Now keep in mind I have no clue what you find attractive in either looks or personality.
If you're seeking someone who is intelligent, articulate, physically fit and mentally stable, you should ask yourself, REALLY search inside and ask yourself, "Am I all of those qualities as well?" Because if you aren't, then it's unrealistic to expect someone who does have all of those qualities to look at you as a fit mate for them. Perhaps they are also looking for those qualities and if you are lacking in any of those areas, they won't find you appealing.
Are you intelligent? Articulate? Stable, physically, mentally and emotionally? (again, these are merely general, not directed toward you specifically). How do you approach women you do find attractive? Are looks the most important thing to you? What IS important to you? Are you looking for a life mate, or a booty call, or a friend with benefits, or someone merely to pal around with until you find "The One" Do you listen to a woman after you've approached her? Do you study her as you spend time with her? Do you expect sex too quickly? Do you date around, sampling women like a food buffet, picking the parts you like best and skimming over the leftovers with disdain?
Sorry it's so long, but there is no short or easy answer to your question. These are all things you should be asking of yourself. Have you ever considered looking outside the box of your 'ideal' to possibly find someone right under your nose you never thought would be a good mate for you? You might be surprised.
Now we get personal. I've read over your little bits of chatter since I think you are fairly new here, and there isn't much to read. You haven't filled out any information on your likes, dislikes, preferences, and your answers to questions, quite frankly, leave much to be desired. Short answers, that don't really go into any detail that might give someone a glimpse of your real personality. Or flippant, slightly crude answers like "you mean besides jerking off?" <- to be blunt, that isn't exactly the type of answer that's going to send off fireworks for a woman looking for a boyfriend or possible life mate. It sends the signal that you really just want to get your dick wet and you aren't very picky on who does it except
that they be "attractive" to you. Take it for what it's worth, or not at all. Your choice. My personal opinion is that you won't find love on this site. You may not even be referring to any females here, but out in the real world. However I think the same standards apply, and the same questions most certainly.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)