From the mouths of "Babes"

"Twizted Kitty" - a very wise and close friend, sent me this, and I had to share it here. It sums up the vast majority of men you will find on social networks these days. I won't post every word, but the real meat of it. If you read this and feel like it steps on your toes, go buy sturdier boots. ~toodles~

"After trolling MYB for close to 2 years now, I have made some observations, and while there are a few rare exceptions, there tends to be some general patterns in people's online habits on that site.

I will also preface this by saying it will sound somewhat sexist, since I'll be "picking on" the male behaviors. But don't get me started on the female patterns of behaviors....or I'll be ranting 3 times as much.

When single men go on there looking to "mingle," they tend to use the site to "throw out a net," scan the general female population, see if anyone interests them, and see if they are interesting to anyone else in a romantic way...much like one would do if at a bar or club that caters to the single population. When men do this, they tend to fall into one fall into one of several categories:

1.) The attention whore
This is the person who "tosses their net" by throwing up a post, question, picture, or song link every 10 minutes or more. They throw random comments on other people's stuff. Basically, they look for attention in some way or another by letting it be known that they are online. They enjoy it when the ladies compete for their attention.

In real life, these people actually tend to be more introverted, and this facade allows them to test the waters and be more outgoing in a way which many would like to, but for some reason are not once you get them off a computer. Some of these people also lack the level of personal success they would like to achieve that would bring them a level of status in real life....so they create a persona who can be "socially successful" in the online world.

2.) The hopeless romantic
These are the ones who will post song lyrics and cliched one-liners about love. They love making the ladies **sigh** and dream of the day a man like this will sweep them off their feet. They paint a picture of themselves as a man looking for "the one," and who has been a victim of heartless exes time and time again...

In real life, they fail to take responsibility for their part in failed relationships. They enjoy being an online Casanova, but have little substance to offer in interpersonal relations. They tend to have flings that don't last long, and tend to jump from one person to the next. They don't understand that to build a real connection with someone, you need to offer more than "not cheating or lying." When there is a conflict or something they need to confront their partner with, they will tend to shrink away instead of face something difficult.

 

 

3.) The desperate guy
"I'm single but no one wants a good guy."
"Are any ladies looking for a man who won't beat them or cheat on them?"
"Why do I even bother anymore maybe I'll just end it all."
These are trademark examples. They come off as desperate. They will go on a date with ANYONE who says "maybe," and will tend to be super-clingy, and probably stalk-y.

In real life, they ARE desperate. They don't understand that people are not going to be drawn to someone who complains and is miserable the whole time. This, by the way, is about 75% of MYB.

4.) The quiet guy
These are the guys who don't post much, but will communicate primarily in private messages. They tend to be sweet, polite, and because they are speaking privately, can make chicks believe they have a special "connection" with them. They tend to privately message a number of chicks at once to see who will talk to them and where things will lead. On the rare occasion that they DO post something, you suddenly see they have a small fan club of females...and this guy has probably told all of them that he has some interest in getting to know them better.

In real life, they tend to enjoy dating a few different people at a time, and by keeping themselves relatively private in the online world, the females who they date will likely not find out about each other. They tend to continue talking or chatting with different chicks even when they're casually dating one or two. When the girlies find out they're not as special as initially believed, they tend to feel like one OF a million, instead of one IN a million, and get pissed off at the man. In my group of female friends, this tends to be the type that leads to their heartbreaks more than any other type. More often than once, friends have learned that the same man is feeding them the same lines, and it leads to conflict in friendships." 

Though I almost feel a need to disagree with my friend. I seem to run into type #4 more often than #3, so to me they seem more prevalent on social networks. But then, those are usually the ones that fall under the heading of "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." 

Her points still stand. She's a scary judge of men. *mad cackle*

Those young military studs

Here's the problem when it comes to these older, stressed out (and worn out) single moms who trot after the young military studs. You know, the Cougar, the 'Gate Bunnies', the Barracks whores, "Tag chasers", the list goes on.

She's a deluded single woman (or single parent) who will eventually get tired of him being the kid that he is. She wants a grown man who is also a buff fuck, but she'll be bitterly disappointed before long.  And he really is a kid, despite his apparent maturity from being in the military. Chances are he's also been around the block in the relationship department, because women literally throw themselves at him because of his uniform, or his body, or because of some overly romanticized ideal these women have built up in their heads about soldiers. They also somehow insert into their own heads this idea that because he's young, he's fresh, and not as cynical as older men who have either been divorced, or been hurt badly by their ex.

This ain't WWII sweetheart. Wise up, and do it quickly. This guy is one jaded mofo, because even if he hasn't been burned by a girl on his deployments, he's heard all the horror stories from his battle buddies who have. This has made him wary, and he's going to trust his battles before he trusts you. Don't delude yourself.

If by some chance you enter into an "exclusive" relationship with one of these guys, no matter how faithful he may seem to be while he's on deployment, once he hits home turf, his eye will be on every tight ass in sight. He's built up a ton of testosterone from months away from any available (and physically appealing) female, and he's going to want to let it loose..FAST. If you don't actually live in a town nearby, there isn't an ice cube's chance in Hell that he's going to sit on his dick and wait for you to come see him or make a trip to see you. Phone sex and dirty pictures will only get you so far. That just lets him know you are always going to be the 'go to' girl, always waiting for him, always ready and willing when he can find some spare time from relieving his own stress of his tour overseas.

He already has trust issues, and if she's been hurt herself before, so will the woman. If she meets him while he's deployed she feels relatively secure about his fidelity, but by no means is he assured of her own. If he is stationed somewhere else like Korea or Europe, not on a FOB somewhere in a desert or mountain range, it's easy to fool themselves into thinking they are truly in love because they can talk on the phone all the time, skype, or cam fuck on a regular basis.

However, once he deploys for real, he won't be able to do this with any regularity. She's going to get lonely, and as soon as she turns to her friends, whether real life or online, he's going to get suspicious. If she is not available every time he can snatch 10 minutes to make a phone call or get online, he'll start to wonder. He will remember all the stories he's already heard, or experienced himself. Every little thing she does will raise a red flag in his mind, and even if she never actually cheats, she'll want to, and he'll know it. Remember, it only takes the suspicion of infidelity to destroy trust, not the actuality of the act itself.

Kicking Off With a Bang

Let's get started, shall we? Here is one of the most recent tips I've shared across one popular social networking site, MyYearbook. Myyearbook has chatter posts (now called "Live Feed"), which is similar to Facebook's 'wall' where your friends can post comments to your threads, ask you questions. You also have the option to allow viewing publicly, or restrict it to your friends only.

There's a guy, we'll call him Scorpio. Scorpio likes to keep his image "mostly gentleman but always ready for the naughty side to be allowed." Really, that's all he waits for. He hints, he teases, makes vague comments in texts or private messages, even the rare phone call. However, Mr. Scorpio will try his best to 'sweetly' get into your bed on the 2nd time he meets you, at least.He will always have "forgot" his phone in his room or apartment, or the battery mysteriously dies every single weekend and it will be days before you hear from him saying "Baby I'm sorry my battery died and I can't find my charger."

(This tactic by the way is the "I'm a clueless man and virtually helpless so please don't be angry with me, I am trying so hard to be sincere"...It's quite effective, sadly.)

If you ask him a question on MyYearbook, he will answer once or twice and hint that he's into you, but then none of your questions will get answered afterward. He will call you 'Baby' and tell you how much he misses you, how much he can't wait to see you again. But woe unto the girl who foolishly posts something of the same on his Live Feed. Not only will he delete it, he will never speak to you again.

This is because he's afraid someone else (a particular someone else) will see it, and infer several possible things. That:

A) He's only looking for casual dating and booty calls. - This would ruin his plan with the girl he actually thinks is "acceptable dating material", so he won't want that image at all.

B) He's playing several girls at once and doesn't want any of them to discover they are only one plate on his booty-buffet. - Again, it would ruin his image in the eyes of the girl he wants on his arm in public..

or C) He's actually with someone already and is cheating on her with you and whomever else he can con into anal sex because he's not getting what he wants from his "girlfriend."

If you pay attention, you can recognize some signs. And you should pay attention, because if you notice any of these a smart girl will immediately get to snooping when stuff doesn't add up. He'll own more of one girl's photos than anyone else. She'll be his "#1 friend". She will actually live near enough to him to see every day.

Two weeks later, he's "in a relationship". ~Guffaws~ How sweet. This fool of a girl probably thinks he isn't going to cheat on her, and either doesn't realize he already HAS, or is deluding herself to believe him saying "Oh I swear baby there's NOTHING going on, that girl is crazy, tryin' to start drama!"

Ladies, if you talk to a guy, and he says he is completely into you, calls you 'Baby', yet deletes your comments from underneath his live feed, or his pictures, He is not being honest. Not with you, or not with someone else. Hell, probably not with either of you.

If you make a sincere, honest comment that you miss him, or can't wait to see him again (because YOU have nothing to hide), and he deletes it, it's because he's worried about someone else seeing it. Those are NOT the actions of an honest person. Cut him loose, quick!